Though I've Tried..

It is suprisingly soothing to talk to someone else about their
problems when you are facing your own.

I really need to start taking better care of myself.

I hate bad moods, I really honestly do.

You Would Call...

Current Musical Obbsession: String Quartet Tribute to Fall Out Boy.

I'm going to be hitting up the teadot this weekend.
Some good, clean family fun and bonding is in the books.

Rawr! I honestly want to be there RIGHT THIS VERY SECOND.

I miss my grandmommy. And my mommy. And my daddy. And my brother.

When I left home for college, my little brother was 5'4. My mom just took him to the doctor, and hes 5'8 now..5'8.
MY LITTLE BROTHER IS TALLER THAN ME.
He's not the baby anymore :(

Dear You, yes you.

Dear You,
And I mean you, the one who has been calling me at 6 am, 10 am, and so on so forth.
Can you talk?
Damnit! I had started ingnoring your "private" and "unknown" calls..but, you figured out a new way at trickery. You leave me VOICE MAILS. 5 minutes of someone forgetting to hang up the phone. I vaugely hear things in the background, and yes, you have piqued my curiosity.
You must know my secret weakness for mystery. Who are you? I must know.

In other news, my room mate is infatuated with a new man. Ah, I adore the cyclical nature of my room mate...er...lets call her: Monk
No, its not a tribute to her favorite show. Its just her. Well, Monk is actually my second room mate, my first one was someone else. Well, I adore Monk, Monk and I get along like...peanut butter and jelly. We're amazing together. Monk is approachable, beautiful, and fun. If my parents weren't so afraid to let me live off campus, I would live with her next year.
So, Monk. She's like..the perfect room mate.
Friends, but not best. She has her own set of friends, and I have my own. But, we can always do something together if either of us is irratated with friends.
She doesn't mind if my wacky friends come over, and I adore her friends, so it all works out.
In fact, her best friend came to visit this past weekend, and I never had so much fun just sitting in my room. We ended up playing soccer in my room with my beach ball
(we werent in the best of senses)
And, she rocks out at giving me privacy!

So, there it is, my ode to my room mate.

Loss for words.

Rawr, I feel like I need to write, or read, or something!!!
its 3:33 in the AM. What the hell is my problem?

Lazy Swallow...

Oh no, I am slowly but surely becoming a Jazz fan!

Also, the cover of Wonderwall by Ryan Adams is phenomenal. Its extra amazing.
It's like..oh, I dont know! Its like a drippy, sticky popsicle on a hot summer day. The good kind.

maybe I'm amazed at the way I really need you.
-Jem


I need to know why i feel compelled to be in a relationship recently.
I mean, it might be that all of a sudden
everyone I know is pairing off, and thats just a little weird.

friend: you know, just when you think you're the most disgusting
friend: and then life proves it to you
friend: i know, but its' hard you know?
friend: you tell yourself they will love me for me
friend: and then nobody but your friends and family love you
friend: i mean that's enough
friend: i love you all, but a guy is ok once in a while

drunk people can be so eloquent and smart.

Woh Lamhe...

So I have this one friend, lets call him Resh.
Resh and I have been friends since...way back in the day.
But, we didnt really start actually talking until I was a senior in high school.
And now sometimes I get pangs, where I need to talk to Resh.
Without a doubt, there is NOTHING taboo with Resh. I can talk to the kid about anything and everything. And usually we end up doing just that. I stopped being shy around him, and started to trust. Which is funny, I don't really feel like I can trust anyone BUT him. Sure, theres Captain PS and the entire leauge of superness...but sometimes I just want to punch them in the faces they talk to each other so much! With Resh, you know he wont tell a soul.

Ek Pal Ka Jeena

My title has nothing to do with my post, I am just listening to the song.

Uh, I feel like writing, so aimlessly, I write.

Isn't it nice weather out recently?

Uh, so let me let you know more about my life, I guess.

I recently found myself transplanted from the lush plantations of the South to the thriving metropolis of the North. Now don't get me wrong, I orginally hail from the Great White North, but I spent my adolescene in the South. Growing up in the South was an experience, that, looking back, was amazing.
While I was growing up, I couldn't think of a place I wanted to be less.
As I sit here in my morbidly small dorm room, I sometimes wonder why I left.
I had everything a girl could want! But ah, there are times when I look at pictures, and I realize..I came here to learn to become my own person. I came here to assert my indpendence, to make friends, to learn what it means to be A COLLEGE STUDENT.
I can't forever be hanging on the pallu of my mom's sari. Not that my mom wears a sari on a daily basis, it was just an expression.

But yes, so, despite all my thoughts that maybe Temple was too far away, and it was too hard to be so far from mom and dad, I am honest to god, glad I chose it.
It may be in the ghetto, with crazy crack addicts, and more red tape than anything else. But damnit, I find myself happy. A mood that seemed to elude me all through out high school.
I'm not saying I spent my high school years sitting in a corner talking about how my soul was black and cried constantly, on the contrary, I was a well adjusted, socialable person. I just never had it in me to find my own happiness, I would sit and wait for it to find me.
Here, I feel so in control of my own fate, that I run around looking for happiness. No corner will remain unsearched in my quest for world domination...or whatever.

So, moral of the story: Don't wait for happiness to find you, find it yourself.

rawr.

Europe. Europe. Europe.

Ahahhaa! Yay!!! Ladies and Gents, I am heading to London, Paris, and Rome for a week in May!
I am going to be there with Vandna, my cousin.
You know what that means, LOTS and LOTS of pictures!!! :)

I'm hella excited, more excited than..oh I don't know. Just really excited should cover it.



Mm, I forgot how much I love Paper Moon!

Check out
"Mercury is Clearly Opposing Neptune" and "The History of Punctuation"

Err, so the day.... I started off with going for a small walk, which was soothing. Came back, hit my head on the wall and passed out..but worry not, no permanent damage was done. Found out that my Europe trip is confirmed (most def. the highlight of my day)

Oh! and spring fling is tomorrow!!
Pictures from that will be in the fotolog.

Uh, thats really it...i guess I will write something of substance eventually!

The Further Adventures of...

Today I spent some time chilling with two friends who I don't really hang out with often.
We'll call them...DTB and AF. Great guys, really.
We ran around Philadelphia, and then got lost in some shady parts of NJ.
Always an adventure with these two.

The League of Superness

I am going to paint you a scenario..in the form of a play like script thing.

Enter Heroine.
Enter Hero.
Embrace.
Fight.
Embrace.
Fight again.
Embrace again.

End Scene.

Ah, the things my poetic little mind thinks up. Notice how the words form the shape of an hour glass...no small coincidence I assure you.

I have these two goofy friends. Let's call them...er..I don't want to give anything away..but lets call them Wonderboy and Wondergirl.

Anyway, at one point in time it seemed to me that Wonderboy and Wondergirl were fast on their way to becoming a couple...even though nothing was certain.

Well, one fine day Wondergirl calls me up for a chat. Lah de dah, shit happens and Wondergirl shocks me by telling me that (gasp!) she isn't all too fond of Wonderboy and thinks that maybe Superkid is more up to speed for her.
And thus begins the saga of Superkid and Wondergirl

Turns out that Wondergirl and Superkid make an amazing crime fighting duo. I mean, seriously, bad guy butt is kicked on a daily basis
and the streets of the metropolis are safe once again.

And like any crime fighting super duo, Wondergirl and Superkid have their spats. I mean, how can any super team not? I'm sure somewhere along the way Batman wanted to beat Robin over the head with his utility belt and vice versa.

I love both Wondergirl and Superkid dearly, in fact, I think that they along with other members of the League of Superness (yes, damnit, im cool enough to make up my own words) are the only reason I can claim sanity.

Speaking of the League of Superness, let me give you a run down:

1. Wondergirl- Ah, my one true love. Wondergirl has managed to seamlessly integrate herself into my family and daily life. This takes her one step closer to taking over the world, one desi household at a time. She's devious, that Wondergirl. I often answer my parents questions about how Wondergirl and her parents are.

2. Superkid- The other half of the crime fighting duo of the century. Superkid never fails to make me burst into laughter. In fact, I'm sure that on more than one occasion, Superkid has reduced me to tears. When Superkid is around, there is no need to frown. I'm not saying that the only reason we keep Superkid around is for the laughs, its the biggest reason, but not the only one

3. Captain PS- I could write an entire blog about Captain PS, fortunatly, I don't really have the patience to do that. Anyway, CPS is the keeper of all secrets, small and large. He is the equal and opposite reaction to me. Sometimes I get really hurt and disappointed by CPS, but he manages to superglue my heart back together, until the next time he breaks it, that is.

4. The Masked Man- The Masked Man only exists for one purpose in my life..to confuse the hell out of me. He knows who he is, I know who is he, but no one else does. Okay, I lied, TMM also exists to make me happy. Very happy Neha almost always emerges after she meets with TMM.

ps: damn you Wondergirl for figuring out my life! damn you. Love you baby! :-*

Broke trust in two//Now no one's looking out for you

It's surprisingly easy to get caught up in the little things...

There only has to be one thing that nags us incessently,

to completely shove the bigger picture out of focus.

Just one little tiny thing.

I like to think that I don't let the little things get to me
and sometimes I have to give myself the extra fortification to steel myself...

I really wonder why it is the stupid stuff that seems to turn us all into emotional wrecks
(myself included)
I'm not saying the big things don't upset us, but it seems to me, that the things that tend to upset me (and my friends and family) the most are tiny, itty bitty, nit picky things.
Things that, I'm sure, if we were living in a war-torn third world country,
we wouldnt be all to concerned with.

AIM is most certainly going to become the bain of my existance. I don't understand how I am going to wean myself from this as I grow older.
I started this blog at like...4 and its almost 5 because I was so busy AIMing away...those blinking lights are a bit obsessive. I honestly can see myself as the mother of two and yelling at them to be quiet because I can't read my IM's. How sad how obs

Do you sometimes find that silence can be welcome and unwelcome at the same time?

Like with my friend A, who I can most certainly call one of my best friends...I don't ever find our silences to be daunting or unwelcome. In fact, I find it utterly soothing to just be able to not have to fill our silences with idle chatter. I can sit with A for hours on end and not have to say a word. And at the same time, A and I can talk about any subject endlessly. In fact, I have to say, that since the first day I met A, no silence has been unwelcome, and neither has any conversation we have had.
In reference to A:

She understood my wonders,
And listened to my dreams.
She listened to how I felt about life and love,
And knew what it all means.

And thanks to A, I was introduced to another friend that I value. H.
H is a pretty groovy kid, and I am going to get BEAT for saying this, but damnit..I can't seem to shut up around this kid. With H, silence is akward. Maybe its only akward because we are always talking about something, and H is the kind of person that is constantly on the go. Not that it's a bad thing. It always seems that whenever a silence emerges, it is immediatly and effectivly squashed by some form a conversation, and when silence does rein, it is filled with dramatic tension like things.
Word to your ammi, H.



Until we meet again, I leave you with my latest musical obsession.




All your dreams are over now
And all your wings have fallen down
Oh all your dreams are over now
And all your wings have fallen down
She's just like you
So why keep doing what you do
Why cut a friend
Why cruise that mean lean to an end
You could have heel toed
To another place
You could have peeled slow
To a better face

But your heart can't grieve
For your little dreams
Oh no your heart can't grieve
Not for your little dreams

All your dreams are over now
And all your wings have fallen down
All your dreams are over now
And all your wings have fallen down

Broke trust in two
Now no one's looking out for you
Why keep it cruel
Why waste so much to play the fool

And maybe I'm the fool but I think we'd find
That we could all be so so kind
If you'd just leave your tread mill powertrip behind
Oh leave your treadmill powertrip behind
And maybe it's best that you're so so blind
It's best that your so so blind
Because your heart can't grieve
I know your heart can't grieve

I know your heart can't grieve
What your eyes won't see
But you were my favorite moment
Of our dead century

I know your heart can't grieve
What your eyes won't see
But you were my favorite moment
Of our dead century

But all your dreams are over now
And all your wings have fallen down
Oh all your dreams are over now
And all your wings have fallen down

Oh warfarin' terrapin
Unconfined undesigned
Undersigned bantering
Bartering bellowing
Barracking blundering
Pillaging plundering
Living and lavishing
Hammerings harrowing
Flourishing flattening
Levelling reveling
Wrecking and ravaging
Savoring savaging

Oh warfarrin terrapin
Unconfined undesigned
You've got me worried and wondering

All your dreams are over now
And all your wings have fallen down
All your dreams are over now

-"Dreams" by TV on the Radio

ps: embrace the emotions.

shuruvat.

Another day, another blog.
I am actually giving an honest attempt to be less silent with my thoughts.
Writing has always been a well appreciated outlet for me, but I have always tended to keep my writing private.
The blogs I read tend to be so verbose and intellectual, I feel that my daily tirades might clutter the superior blogosphere that I frequent.

So, here's to a new start. And to new beginnings.


Oh, and Credit to Kurt Halsey for the words that I put on my own picture.