Dear So & So:

Stop. being. so. FUCKING. adorable. and. PERFECT.

Contrary to popular belief, it doesn't make you less attractive...
Shocking twist in the story: it makes you MORE AND MORE AND MORE ATTRACTIVE
UNTIL I EXPLODE.

In fact, you seem so PERFECT FOR ME that even when you commit random acts of jackassery,
I SEEM TO FORGIVE YOU.
This is PISHTOSHNONSENSE, I tell you.

Yes, I concede that this is more of MY problem than YOURS,
but it's blame everything on you day.

Do you think that you could perhaps do the following?
BLOCK MY EMAILS, CHANGE YOUR NUMBER, AND NEVER SPEAK TO ME AGAIN?

I would appreciate this, as it would help me get over your amazing wonderfullness.

-Me