hard times.

It's true that you will never get over this devastating, life changing event.
You won't get over it, you'll just learn to cope.

Eventually, you'll learn to get on with your life...
to remember the good times you had with your mother.
Remember the unconditional love she had for you.

You'll learn to live knowing that she is looking down on you,
so proud of the man you've become.
A man that many people admire.

It's hard, and it will always be hard.
Just remember that eventually, it won't be so hard.
You'll laugh again, and you'll see the bright side of things.

And take comfort in your friends,
we are here for you always.
Day or night, if you need someone, we're here.

With all my love & deepest sympathy for you and your family.

re-consideration.

"Stay true to yourself, because there are very few people who will stay true to you."

Today I realized that despite all my worrying,
my panicking,
and my distress...
I was right.

I was right in thinking that things wouldn't stay this way forever.

I can't really stay mad at people.
I have a short attention span, I can't stay mad and hold grudges.
I love who I love.
I will always take you back, no matter how strong I act at first.


It's true what they say, shit happens.
It just DOES.
It always will.
How you let is affect you is what really defines you.

I could end it all right here, I could say fuck it all to hell and pull out

But I won't. I'm going to stay and prove my worth.
I'm going to prove that I am worth it, that I don't fear them.

I am unshakable,
because if all you have are flimsy untruths,
and the hearsay of jealous people,
and I am secure in my knowledge of my innocence
then I have won already.

So make your decision,
if you expect to rattle me with fear,
know that you won't succeed.

Even if the decision does not come out in my favor,
I still will have won.

What you have lost is far greater than what I have.

I have lost false friendship.
and you have lost
sisterhood.

Should auld acquaintance be forgot,
And never brought to mind?


Mairi Campbell Singing Auld Lyne Sang is perhaps the most
beautiful & ethereal version of the song I have ever heard.
It moves me to tears.

Fighting with those you love most is the hardest thing,
because it seems like the hurt
is ever present
and non diminishing.

It's always in your mind, and if you're like me,
you can't stop thinking about ways to make it better.
And you realize,
that sometimes,
"being the bigger person" isn't the right way to go.

I love you, but the more I think about it,
the more I realize...you walk all over me.
You blame me for things that aren't my fault.
You're my friend, meaning I would follow you anywhere.
You're my BEST friend, meaning I won't hesitate to tell you that
where you want me to go isn't the place for us to be.

don't blame your indecisions on me,
I am NOT at fault for them.

Make your mistakes, I'm here to tell you that they are mistakes.
And I'm here to put a band-aid on heart when you get it broken.

Don't tell me that because I have NEVER "been in your situation"
that I don't know
"how you feel"
because,
quite fucking frankly
thats bullshit.

You forget that I was the one who stayed up with you while you cried
who cursed him for you because your heart was too full of hurt (& love for him) to do it.
you forget that it was with these hands that I wiped the tears from your face.
you forget that I was the one who held you when you couldn't hold yourself up.
who put together your heart
every time he broke it.

And I would do it again, because we're sisters.

but to toss me aside,
to ignore me,
to humiliate me
for him.
is not something that I will forget soon.

But, forgive you I will.
As for being the bigger person,
not this time around.
Because its up to you to want to be the bigger person.

I'm not backing down about the truth.


And ther's a hand, my trusty friend,
And gie's a hand o' thine;
We'll tak' a cup o' kindness yet,
For auld lang syne.